A healthy sex life is a fundamental part of any relationship and everyone is entitled to this. The most important part of a healthy sex life is ensuring consent has been obtained from the beginning to the end.
How can consent be obtained?
- Do you want me to…?
- Would you like it if I…?
- Is it OK if I…?
- How do you feel about…?
- Do you want to try…?
- Do you want me to continue…?
- Shall I stop…?
- Can I kiss you?
- Do you want to have sex?
How can you verbally say no?
- I would prefer not to…
- I would rather not…
- I don’t know how I feel about…
- I don’t think I am ready.
- Maybe another time, but not now.
- I would prefer it if we…
- I would feel more comfortable if…
- I don’t want to do this anymore.
- This isn’t working for me.
It is perfectly ok for anybody to change their mind at any point during a sexual encounter. Because ultimately the decision is for the person to make.
How can you remove consent non-verbally?
- Looking away
- Avoiding touching someone and being touched
- Pushing someone away or moving away from their touch
- Shaking the head
- Looking sad or fearful
- Silence or a trembling voice
- No movement, laying still or freezing
- Sounds of pain
What are non-verbal signs of consent?
Remember this can be retracted at any time:
- Direct eye contact
- Actively touching someone
- Pulling someone closer
- Nodding yes
- Sounds of enjoyment
There are many different ways to discuss consent and that does not have to only be with the words ‘yes’ or ‘no’. An individual can use many tools to give or remove consent as discussed above. However, for more information consider this helpful video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU
We can help
If you are in a sexually abusive relationship currently, we can help. Call our team on 01522 561020 or email email@example.com
7th-11th February is Sexual abuse and Sexual Awareness Week #itsnotok